Monday, January 14, 2013

{The Great Shave}

I have a thing for facial hair (on men only - did this need to be clarified?), and Bret knows this.

Every year in the Fall Bret stops shaving and I start swooning.  I swoon over him all year but a special sort of swooning is reserved for the bearded Bret.
I prefer a short, close to the face beard...bushy beard's just start to look umkempt and I start looking for bits of food stuck in the hair (snack for later?).

The signs that it was nearing time for him to shave started happening just after Christmas.  Playing with the extra long patch of hair below his bottom lip while watching TV, and the occasional mouth full of hair when giving him a goodnight kiss at night (gag), signaled to both Bret and I that it was time.

He decided to shave it off while we were in Utah.  Jonas was sick and we were needing a good laugh.  We found a basket of handmade hats that were given to my parents from various people/islands while they lived in Tahiti...and voila...props.

This Great Shave has been done for the last 5 years.  Last year was a favorite of mine, however, this year is a tie in my mind for my personal favorite.


Please use the picture below to see which beards I am referring to.

*gold star to those of you who catch the 2 movie references I make*

Before - mountain man meets nerdy deliciousness
"Chancho" - Don't let the small, feminine hat fool you.  Chancho and his circle beard is all man.  He likes to wear sweats and likes chips, maybe on a salad or something.   He's a lover, not a fighter.  
*my apologies to my 92 year old grandma and to others who won't get any of the movie references.
 "Chester the Molester", tourist style - Look how happy Chester is sporting his Balbo styled facial hair.  He's super excited to be on vacation and actually talk to some girls face to face, instead of talking to gorgeous babes online.  
*like I said...apologies grandma if you don't get the movie reference.
I mean...who could say no to this?
This is Borris.  Even though he is wearing a headband with a flower sticking out, he means business, just look at that face!  From the chart above, you may identify his facial hair as a " soul patch".  I like to refer to it as "your-bottom-lip-made-boom-boom-on-your-chin". 

Borris however, could care less what we call his facial hair, because he knows all he needs to do is flex his chin, lifting those long and nasty hairs so they stick at least an inch (or two) straight out from his face, to reveal his secret weapon...
A third fist (just pretend I drew a good's harder to do than you think)!  

Yes folks, just like his older brother Chuck Norris, Borris Norris has been graced with the ability to hide a third fist under his excessively long soul patch hairs aka "lip poop".

Don't mess with the Norris boys.  If you do, you just might be punched in the nose with a tiny fist.

Special thanks to Bret for being awesome and not caring that I post these pictures.  We both get a good laugh out of the pictures/process and the kids love the whole the whole thing.


Glenna Lagazo said...

That last one was so sick!

Cristy said...

Thanks! I needed a good laugh on this crappy day of lost wallet damage control. Pretty sure the lady who had a joy-ride yesterday with our money is probably dating someone who is good friends with Chester the Molester. Grrrr ;)

Jo said...
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