Sometimes being a mom is hard.
I mean, I might be totally and completely off base here and all who are reading the above statement, read with open mouth, head shaking and a loud gasp when I say that this thing called Motherhood is overwhelming, difficult, challenging, tiring, scream worthy, guilt-ridden, always second guessing, flaw finding, and feeling like you've got it all figured out one day and wake up the next at a loss when you discover a whole new child/milestone that you have no clue how to even begin embracing which is a daily reminder of your inadequacy.
To you gaspers and head shakers I say...you're either in denial or far better than me.
We're going on days of having "one of those days" where your kids taunt each other utilizing their knowledge of how to push the right buttons and where your husband tries to help but in your mind just gets in the way and where your infant son decides to not sleep and demands feeling your body heat all.day.long.
Good thing in this Mom gig (that I'm whole heartedly and willingly immersed in) there is a BUT. One small 3 letter word that provides a huge reminder as to why I chose this gig in the first place.
BUT...
Motherhood is also rewarding. It's a lifestyle where I can discover new talents (can you talk on the phone with some person that barely speaks English, aid one kid with homework and participating in a tea party with the other, while changing a poopy diaper and tending to the stir fry cooking on the stove all at the same time - see TALENT folks!), feel that daily soul stretching, humility learning, never laughed so hard, never loved so much, and don't know what I would do without my kids sort of reward.
It's a sweet double edge sword that keeps me on my feet and makes life...life.
I would however like to plead that we have more of the second personal description of motherhood above.
I mean, I might be totally and completely off base here and all who are reading the above statement, read with open mouth, head shaking and a loud gasp when I say that this thing called Motherhood is overwhelming, difficult, challenging, tiring, scream worthy, guilt-ridden, always second guessing, flaw finding, and feeling like you've got it all figured out one day and wake up the next at a loss when you discover a whole new child/milestone that you have no clue how to even begin embracing which is a daily reminder of your inadequacy.To you gaspers and head shakers I say...you're either in denial or far better than me.
We're going on days of having "one of those days" where your kids taunt each other utilizing their knowledge of how to push the right buttons and where your husband tries to help but in your mind just gets in the way and where your infant son decides to not sleep and demands feeling your body heat all.day.long.
Good thing in this Mom gig (that I'm whole heartedly and willingly immersed in) there is a BUT. One small 3 letter word that provides a huge reminder as to why I chose this gig in the first place.BUT...
Motherhood is also rewarding. It's a lifestyle where I can discover new talents (can you talk on the phone with some person that barely speaks English, aid one kid with homework and participating in a tea party with the other, while changing a poopy diaper and tending to the stir fry cooking on the stove all at the same time - see TALENT folks!), feel that daily soul stretching, humility learning, never laughed so hard, never loved so much, and don't know what I would do without my kids sort of reward.
It's a sweet double edge sword that keeps me on my feet and makes life...life.
I would however like to plead that we have more of the second personal description of motherhood above.*deep cleansing breaths*...yes, I'm already starting to feel better.
Side note:
Last night Mailee prayed that I would dream about rainbows because rainbows make people happy - apparently my attitude lately towards the challenges that Motherhood brings has been noticed by the midgets of the household.
Jonas, while nursing himself into milky slumber tonight kept his beautiful baby eyes glued on mine the whole time - Oh sweet double edged sword that you are, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else at this time.
oh, and this has nothing to do with any of the above but tonight Ella prayed that Bret would be more like Uncle Jessie - Have Mercy!
Side note:
Last night Mailee prayed that I would dream about rainbows because rainbows make people happy - apparently my attitude lately towards the challenges that Motherhood brings has been noticed by the midgets of the household.
Jonas, while nursing himself into milky slumber tonight kept his beautiful baby eyes glued on mine the whole time - Oh sweet double edged sword that you are, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else at this time.
oh, and this has nothing to do with any of the above but tonight Ella prayed that Bret would be more like Uncle Jessie - Have Mercy!
16 people are bringing SEXY back:
Thanks for your post today Erica. I really needed to hear that today. 'Overwhelmed' should just become my middle name--because that is pretty much how I feel everyday.
Thanks for keeping it real. I know a lot of people read your blog, so it is nice to see the joys and triumphs in motherhood as well as the difficult 'pull your hair moments' as well. The one thing that has helped give me comfort and strength lately, is that at least I am still trying!
I mean realy truly trying and striving to do better everyday. Ok so yesterday I sucked as a mom, oh well, at least I am working at improving and becoming better the next day. I have to look forward to those sometimes rare but 'shining moments' our kids give us from time to time, that make me say "yep, it is all worth it afterall.'
i think all moms can relate on certain days. no matter what -- it's not all hunky dory all the time. i am always struggling with finding balance in my life. i usually find that things run smoother if i eliminate the crap that doesn't need to be done and take a time out.
hope your days get easier. much love :)
I totally agree. I think I have had a "mommy meltdown" at least 2 times this week and it is only Wednesday?! I hate going to bed knowing that I probably was not the nicest. And then there are good days but I think that being a Mom is so much harder than any job you can do! It just stinks when those yucky challenging days D..r..a..g on and on. Thanks for the post Erica! It made me smile because we get prayers like that all the time where my kids will pray for us to be a certain way or do certain things. Like last night Isaac asked for me to 'please help mom to calm down and just let me make a mess' good times for sure!
nice to know i'm not the only one...and i only have one! my sis-in-law put it best when she desribed being a Mom to me-"The days are long and the pay sucks, but the years are short and precious and the benefits are priceless."
I agree and have to confess that this whole thing (motherhood) is far harder than I ever imagined. I love the statement above "days are long...benefits are priceless." I think I need that made into a sign. It's so easy to lose sight of the "big picture." Having my oldest start kindergarten really hit home on the fact that they really do grown up fast. Good reminder!!
Laughing, chuckling, and totally identifying with the wonderful, blessed, craziness we call motherhood. Thanks for showing us, that you, too, have bad days.
i think it MUST be in the air or something:) i too have been thinking/working long and hard on this grand journey we call motherhood. and every night as i get ready to say my prayers, i immediately think of all the things i did WRONG that day-why is that? then i remembered what pres. miskin said at stk conference"accentuate the positive and don't be defined by your weaknesses!" then i find hope and remember that i just got to keep trying.thanks for the post!
you said exactly what i think almost every day!
Ditto. Josh and I were just talking about how overwhelming motherhood can be, but how rewarding at the same time. I think we all have days or weeks of feeling overwhelmed with it. I love your honesty, it's refreshing to hear that someone I look up to as a supermom, (YOU!) deals with this too. I truly think you are an amazing mom - you have some very lucky kiddos!
They just need their uncle Mike!
Amen.
love that last comment! You are definately not alone in how you feel. Motherhood is the hardest/greatest thing I have ever endured. Did I mention it was the hardest? :)
No one who's ever been a mom would ever shake their head at this with anything other than empathy! We've all been, or are there. I think blogs are amazing and wonderful things --- you can vent to all these people and find a zillion that understand! I truly wish we'd had something like that when I was raising mine. In those days you could sit and think those things all day and never have anyone to tell you that they understood! (Except your mom, of course, but then you had to call her "long distance"! I think you're an amazing and better than "normal" mom, for what it's worth!
Amen!! I tried to can peaches today.. got through two batches and am tempted to forget the other five and a half boxes. It's not the peaches that were the problem if you get me.
Loved this post! All of it.. very very true!
Little Jonas is so adorable! He and Sam would be buddies for sure.
Oh, and just so you know- anyone who reads your blog knows you deserve the mother of the year award...I'm just sayin!
I know EXACTLY what you mean. Three kids sent me totally over the edge... and I feel like I'm just barely starting to climb back up it, and some days I get pushed right back off again. It was and still is really hard, but I honestly wouldn't change a thing. It's amazing the things we go through as mothers. And how much you grow... in ways you couldn't have ever expected, and that's hard too. Thanks for keeping it real, Erica. You are an absolutely amazing mother, and I love that you are so honest and real about everything in your life. You are amazing, and I love you!!
Your description of Jonas' eyes locked on yours while nursing him made me melt - moments like those are worth it all :)
i love this.
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